One day I’ll wake up and be glad I did

ALSO my apartment is a mess for my standards. I have dirty clothes, dirty dishes, stuff in places it doesn’t belong…it’s just ridiculous. I don’t live like this. My apartment is usually extremely clean and it doesn’t feel like home when it’s messy. I’m going out of town this weekend, I must get it clean before I leave on Saturday.

I’m feeling very down on myself lately. Just…disappointed. I haven’t been taking care of myself at all. Haven’t been taking my meds, haven’t been working out, I’ve been eating like crap. I don’t know how many times I’ve told myself it’s time to get myself back on track and I just haven’t been able to do it. I kept telling myself that 130 would be my max weight, and I weighed in at EXACTLY 130 the other day. I NEED to get on track, I need to do better, I need to treat myself better…and I can’t bring myself to do it. I think maybe I’m feeling like I don’t deserve it. I don’t know. All I know is my jeans don’t button and I look like shit to myself in the mirror.


Porn blogs have started liking my selfies lately. It creeps me out. Men are awful.


Selfie Sunday, featuring my high body confidence I have today. Feelin myself.


Selfie Sunday, featuring my high body confidence I have today. Feelin myself.

Get Into That Damn Dress Challenge - reboot!


I’m super stoked that people are interested in the re-boot of the Get Into That Damn Dress Challenge!

What is the challenge, you ask?

It’s a way to celebrate some non-scale victories and a great way to get some old (or new!) clothing back into your wardrobe rotation!

The goal is to find any piece of clothing that currently does not fit you, and use that as a measure of your progress! Mine is a dress, hence the name of the challenge. I find that we so often live or die by the scale that we may be missing the changes our bodies have made in other ways.

There are no time frames set on this challenge - this is on your own terms. I’m going to be posting an update monthly along with a reminder post if anyone is wanting to share their progress or any other non-scale victories, but feel free to post updates and progress posts at any time!

Make sure to tag ihavetoadmititsgettingbetter and get into that damn dress challenge so I can make sure I see them and re-blog them! I also have a page on my blog where you can find all the relevant posts :)

If you want to join us, are already participating, or just want to spread the word, please re-blog this post, and get to posting :D

ALRIGHT I’m all about this type of challenge. My goal pants: My favorite Express work pants that have gotten too tight, size 00. I’ll post pictures later today of where I am currently.


In love with my pink shorts.


In love with my pink shorts.

Since I’m determined to start running, I’m going to be accountable to myself on here for my progress. Today I started Week 1, Day 1 of Couch 2 5K training…and I couldn’t finish it. Do I feel like a failure? YES. The training is literally targeted to people who have no history of running and I couldn’t even complete the first day. But I’m not going to give up, I’m going to go back to the gym and try again tomorrow. I was feeling nauseous today before I went to the gym, hopefully that goes away tomorrow and will help me finish it since today I felt like throwing up. I did do 15 minutes of walking/jogging today though, and that’s more than a mile, so that’s still a HUGE accomplishment for me.

I’m serious about my fruit.

I’m serious about my fruit.

ohhhwaffles93 replied to your post: So I’m dating a tri athlete, which is …

OMGAH! We should run at memorial together!

YES YES YES we definitely should. Let me just get up to being able to run a mile first haha. I’m going to start C25K today, we’ll see how it goes.

ALSO, you should really come to Waco with me one of my trips up there!



I had way too much quiet time for thinking this weekend but I kind of had a big realization that may seem pretty basic but hit me hard. I’ve always been insecure around really really attractive women, because I felt like it made me look bad. But that doesn’t make sense? I look the same regardless of who I’m around and someone else being attractive doesn’t diminish peoples ability to find me attractive. I’m still working on liking my own body/face/that whole thing, but being around pretty people doesn’t change the way I look, so it makes no sense to worry about it.

So I’m dating a tri athlete, which is awesome and kind of hilarious because I still feel like I’m the exact opposite of an athlete. Tbh, I put a lot of thought into it and the last time I ran a mile was in 7th grade… and I’m 26. So today, I went with the boy to watch a triathlon that his friend was competing in and I was SO INSPIRED. I already have serious admiration for all the awesome runners that I follow, and I always think it’s really awesome when yall talk about your running. SO I’ve decided I’m going to give it a shot. I’m going to download c25k and I’m going to become a runner. And that’s my new plan.

Birthday selfie with my kiddo, who a REFUSES to tell me happy birthday because it’s his friend’s birthday, so it can’t be mine.

Birthday selfie with my kiddo, who a REFUSES to tell me happy birthday because it’s his friend’s birthday, so it can’t be mine.


Free weight purists annoy me just as much as lifting purists (who are the people who harp on anyone who use any training equipment like a belt or chalk)

We get it you don’t like the selectorized weight machines. Little do most people know most Pro-bodybuilders use a LOT of the machines to sculpt and hit little trouble areas for better isolation.

Everything has a purpose, and even if it doesn’t fall in line with your goals, it still falls in line with someone elses.





This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.

Today, I just got the keys to my first house.

Give it time.

Needed this today

when you hear people preach that it gets better, they aren’t…

This is the most inspiring and uplifting addition to this post that I’ve seen. It’s probably because I’ve talked to you and you seem like such a healthy, happy person, even when you’re struggling with your body and your food choices, that I can’t imagine you being that low emotionally. But to hear that you’ve been where I’m at and you made it through and you’re here is a really big deal to me because maybe I can make it too. I guess I never imagined that you struggled the way I am but you did and you’re still here. So yes I may have cried a little, but thank you so, so much for sharing this with tumblr because it made a difference for me.